An Angry Little Boy

Hi Cuties,

This one may be a little weird.

"No shit Meeka.  When are you "not" weird?" some of you may be thinking.  

It would be great if some of you would write that as a comment but I digress.

Before we get started, a bit about my style of writing.

Some writers spend hours even days preparing before they put down a single letter.

Not me.

In a way I'm like the author of The Martian Chronicles, Ray Bradbury.

He recorded an interview were he said that he gets up every morning and steps on a land mine.  He then spends the rest of the day putting himself back together.

I'm not that dramatic but I also don't prep very much.

Today is a special day for me and like all of us, it's a day that only comes once a year and mine had come 62 times today.

Part of living is looking back and when I did that today I realized that for most of my life growing up I was one really pissed of kid/adult.

I don't really know what the cause but I suspect a big part of it is over God's little practacle joke.

You know, the one were he stuffed me in the wrong body and then conveniently forgot to answer the customer service hotline.

I have to assume he did this to everyone since I haven't heard anyone claiming to have a hotline to the big guy. 

From about 7 on my main emotional states were fear, sadness and anger with some very bright moments of fun or temporary happiness.

It was a very confusing time to say the least.

My parents, I'm sure, spent a lot of time scratching their head trying to figure me out.

It didn't help that all the doctors (medical and mental) kept telling them that I was extremely bright but I was just didn't apply myself.

God I hated that phrase.  Like I was a tube of fucking toothpaste or something.

I was also very impulsive and not likely to think things through before doing something that I probably shoulnd't.

Hell, that continued throughout my adjult life from joining the Marines to getting married 3 different times, divorced, etc.

Hell, when I came out my little brother said that I really know how to throw a curve.

But things have definitly changed since I have changed.

I transitioned in 2018 and although it has been at times a funhouse ride I can't say that I regret taking those steps to my life today.

My fiance and I were talking about this just last night and here it is in a nutshell so take it for what it's worth.

I may have been born 62 years ago but I didn't really start to live until I left the man that I was behind to be the best me ever.

TTYL Cuties 💓.